i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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