Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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