It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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