I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize