So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
