What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
