the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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