why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
