Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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