is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
