I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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