There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
