Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
