OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize