Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
