I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
