My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
