do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
