I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
