If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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