It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
