glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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