i really wish james franco would like my vagina
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize