It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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