Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
