my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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