yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
