I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
