I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
