my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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