Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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