yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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