If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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