Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
