you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize