I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
