And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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