in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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