The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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