all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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