What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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