i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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