you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
