Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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