Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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