lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
