toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
