just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
