the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
