yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize