man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
