There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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