Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Vodka?
Forever.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
