he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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