I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
