I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
