i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
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