Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
