He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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