i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
