It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
