TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize