you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
3pm strippers are depressing
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
