The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
