His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
