the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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